fcuk.

yes, f*ck.

do you believe that things happen in a way of how you feel?
bad mood comes a bad day with all the bad happenings.
no wonder people say, happiness is short-lived.

i was in a extremely bad mood today in fact.
i could have bitten somebody's head off at some point of time, hahaha.
i was very tired today too, tired of everything.
i'm tired of speaking and making efforts.
i very much wanted to be dumb for a day.

NP Global cheated me.
i was extremely upset.

a trip that is supposed to cost no more than $700 is now almost twice of it.
i felt like i was some problematic child of the day; i kept running to the admin office with the lecturer and talking to the lecturer on serious matters.

i really don't like the "sympathetic" look that people will give me at times.
i'm really fine. lols.

my immediate thought after hearing the decision of the finance was,
"maybe i should just withdraw from this trip."
there were of course other contributing factors as well.
so i went in and just asked Mr Paul Ng,
"is it possible to withdraw?"
he started his looooong speech with me then and encouraged me not to.

then suddenly i had someone in my mind, lols.
nahhh, not some opposite gender or whoever.
somebody important, HLY.
you know who you are.
HLY was the only reason that i did not withdraw in the end actually.
i bet you must be touched right!
hahahahha.

been feeling extremely emotional lately.
moodswings ttm.

i have so much in me suddenly.

i never thought of myself as a poor child because there are many who may be in the same or worser situation as me. so i never want to complain.

branded items are never meant for me.
dressing up glamorously and being vain is not me.
what is affordable or reasonable for some, is not for me.
i know every cent is hard-earned.
and i told myself that i will start recording each cent that i spent starting from today.