"can i hold your hand?"

lovely girlfriends gathered on last Tues for WY's belated bday! :D

i have spent two weeks at Gifted Learners Student Care already.

from "are you a new teacher?" to students calling me "Miss Tang!".

i'm really happy with the progress so far.

from strangers to them telling me stories in school & asking me to help with their hw.

i started to become their friend the other day when they started asking me about my life & i came up with this "i am an alien from Pluto planet" story.

Very soon, the center of kids heard it and started coming to me.

i have students coming to disturb me during mealtimes & teabreak time.

students who are not from my class would usually end up coming to my class and asking me questions. i felt really comforted and glad.

but today i had a heavy heart at the end of the day.

i think i finally understood what my MOE interviewer meant when he told me that "sometimes, it is really difficult to be a friend and a good teacher."

i think because i was too friendly, that the students are getting more attached to me?

i was in-charge of the P5/P6 class the other day, and the P3s came to my class.

I was in-charge of P3s today, and the P4s came to my class.

it was extremely chaotic today, my colleagues (other teachers) came to my rescue and scolded the students. yes, i was glad that they came but i'm sorry that the students were scolded because i failed to protect them.

so at the second-half of today, i showed a stern and strict face.

i demanded total silence and demanded each to complete their work.

no more friend at that point of time.

i think today's probably the day that i learnt that i need to know the line between friend & teacher. "i can be nice but i can be very mean too."

i like to be nice to them compared to scolding them.

scolding is really exhausting.

i still need more training to be even better.

actually, im not on very good terms with my colleagues.

im on better terms with my students than with my colleagues, i thought.

i have a lot of stories with my students, each of them.

from the first drawing of me by one of my students to another asking me if he can hold my hand when i fetched him from school. a lot more.

i think i need to practice fairness sometimes too, i think i'm more biased towards the girls.

oops, hahaha!

oh, i'm happy to have gotten this temp job although working hours are short which means lesser money at the end of the month.

but this job have really let me have an eye-opening experience and allow me to test water in the teaching line.

today, i received the e-mail from MOE.

It states that i'm selected for a teaching position.

it wasn't my expected mood initially.

i thought i'll be happy.

but now, i'm actually thinking if i'm up to it.

i really love teaching the kids so far at the centre.

but centre and school will be a total different thing.

MOE will be a 5 years bond, cannot test water anymore.

i'm gonna think about this over the long weekend.

and. i really want a degree.

i don't want to stop at diploma.

take a degree course after my 5 years contract with MOE, if so?

maybe MOE will even want to subsidize me for my education.

i will be set on my future path after i come back from Msia next Tues.

think carefully, yoketeng!